I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
