If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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