This girl is more easily done than said...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
