Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
