toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
