Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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