i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
