That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
