He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
