Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
