he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize