he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
