My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
