Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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