I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
