question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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