I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
