Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
