smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
