When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
