Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize