Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
this is an emotional support booty call
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
