dude i'm inner monologue high
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
