he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
