I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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