Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
