Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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