a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
