I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
