That reminds me...we need to get swords
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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