Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
