she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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