why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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