D3 body, D1 cock
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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