Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she peed on how many people?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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