Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
