I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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