Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
