new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
