so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
