i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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