David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
