now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
