i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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