Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
