Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
