ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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