Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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