yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
