Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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