So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
