Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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