I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
