Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
