Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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