Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
