either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize