just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
