we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
