even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
