I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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