dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
