I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just high enough for therapy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
