with your own penis?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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