know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
